Is the New Year the Right Time to Separate? What Are the Risks of Informal Agreements?
The New Year has a way of bringing clarity. For many people, it becomes a quiet moment of reflection after the rush of Christmas has passed. Life slows down just enough to ask difficult questions. Is this relationship still working? Am I happy? Can we keep doing this another year? For some, those questions lead to conversations about separation and whether an informal separation agreement is the right next step.
If you are considering separation at the start of the year, you are not alone. January is one of the busiest times in family law. What we often see, however, is people trying to manage separation quickly and informally. There is a strong temptation to agree on things verbally, divide assets casually, or promise to sort out the legal side later once emotions settle.
While this approach may feel easier at the moment, an informal separation agreement can carry serious legal and financial risks.
This article explores whether the New Year is the right time to separate and why informal agreements can create long term problems even when both parties are acting in good faith.
Why Do So Many Separations Happen at the Start of the Year and Lead to an Informal Separation Agreement?
The festive season can place enormous pressure on relationships. Financial stress, extended family dynamics, parenting expectations, and the emotional weight of the holidays often bring underlying issues to the surface.
Once the calendar turns over, there is often a strong desire for a fresh start. People want clarity, calm, and a sense of control heading into a new year. Separation can feel like the first step towards that reset.
There are also practical reasons why January separations are common.
Work routines resume
Children return to school
Support networks become more available
There is mental space to focus on future planning
Unfortunately, this sense of urgency can lead people to rush decisions without fully understanding the legal consequences.
What Is an Informal Separation Agreement?
An informal separation agreement is any arrangement reached between separating partners without formal legal documentation.This might include:
Verbal agreements about who keeps which assets
Text messages confirming property arrangements
One person keeping the house while the other takes savings
Agreements about child arrangements without a Parenting Plan or Consent Orders
Often, these agreements are based on trust and a shared desire to avoid conflict or legal costs. Many people believe that because they are amicable now, things will remain amicable in the future.Unfortunately, family law does not always work that way.
Why an Informal Separation Agreement is Risky
An Informal Separation Agreement is Not Legally Binding
The biggest issue with informal agreements is that they are generally not legally enforceable.If circumstances change and one party later decides the agreement is unfair, incomplete, or no longer suitable, there may be nothing preventing them from making a legal claim.This means you could believe matters are settled, only to face negotiations or court proceedings months or even years later.
An Informal Separation Agreement Can Be Easily Challenged
Even if you have emails or messages confirming an agreement, these rarely provide the same protection as properly drafted Consent Orders.Informal arrangements can be challenged if:
They are significantly imbalanced
One party did not receive legal advice
There was pressure or emotional stress at the time
The agreement did not consider all assets and liabilities
What felt fair in January may not hold up legally in the future.
Financial Details Are Often Missed in an Informal Separation Agreement
At the start of separation, people are often emotionally exhausted. As a result, financial decisions may be rushed or simplified.Common issues we see include:
Superannuation not being considered
Debts overlooked or underestimated
Future tax consequences ignored
Property or business values not properly assessed
Once assets are transferred informally, it can be extremely difficult and costly to unwind mistakes.
Parenting Arrangements Can Become Unstable in an Informal Separation Agreement
Parents often begin with informal child arrangements that feel flexible and cooperative.Over time, however, work schedules change, new partners enter the picture, or communication breaks down. Without a clear and structured agreement, misunderstandings can escalate quickly.Informal arrangements offer no certainty and little protection if disagreements arise.
You May Lose Negotiating Power
Agreeing informally can unintentionally weaken your position later. This is a big one we see all the time.
If you have already handed over assets, moved out of the family home, or adjusted finances based on a verbal agreement before seeking any legal advice, it can be harder to negotiate fair outcomes down the track.
Good intentions do not replace legal safeguards.
Is the New Year Still a Good Time to Separate?
The New Year can be a suitable time to separate when you approach it thoughtfully and strategically.
The key difference lies in how you proceed.
A well managed separation focuses on clarity rather than speed. It prioritises understanding your legal position before making permanent decisions. It creates a framework that protects both parties and reduces the risk of future conflict.
Separating at the start of the year does not require you to finalise everything immediately. In many cases, taking a staged and supported approach leads to better long term outcomes.
What Should You Do Instead of a Handshake Agreement?
Get Early Legal Advice
Seeking legal advice does not mean you are heading straight to court. It means you are informed before you make any big life decisions.Understanding your rights, obligations, and options early allows you to negotiate from a position of confidence rather than fear or pressure.
Use Structured Legal Documents
Depending on your situation, appropriate documentation may include:
Consent Orders for property or parenting matters
Parenting Plans to set clear expectations
Binding Child Support Agreements for formalising private child support matters
These documents provide certainty and enforceability while still supporting amicable resolution.
Focus on Transparency and Planning
A strategic approach to separation considers:
Full financial disclosure
Realistic future needs
Tax and superannuation implications
Stable parenting arrangements
This planning protects your future and reduces the likelihood of disputes resurfacing later.
How Martens Legal Supports Early Stage Separations
At Martens Legal, we work with people who want to separate with dignity and clarity.
Many of our clients come to us at the beginning of the year feeling overwhelmed but determined to do things properly. Our role is to guide them through the process with care, transparency, and strategic thinking.We focus on:
Reducing uncertainty
Avoiding unnecessary conflict
Protecting long term financial security
Supporting amicable outcomes wherever possible
Early guidance can prevent costly mistakes and provide peace of mind during a difficult transition.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can we agree to everything now and formalise it later?
You can discuss arrangements informally, but it is important not to act on them permanently without legal advice. Once parties transfer assets or implement decisions, reversing them becomes difficult.
Do courts recognise informal agreements?
In limited circumstances, informal agreements may be considered by a court and may be seen as evidence of intentions, but they offer far less protection than formal legal documents and are much easier to challenge.
Do we need lawyers if we agree on everything?
Yes. Legal advice ensures that your agreement is fair, complete, and legally enforceable. Even amicable separations benefit from professional guidance.
What if we want to avoid court completely?
Most of our work focuses on negotiation and mediation. Formal agreements do not mean court involvement. They mean certainty without protracted and costly court litigation.
Is it better to wait until emotions settle?
While emotions are part of separation, waiting too long without guidance can increase risk. Early advice does not rush decisions. It supports better ones.
Take the First Step with Confidence
If the New Year has brought clarity about your relationship, you deserve support that protects your future.
Before relying on informal promises or handshake agreements, take time to understand your legal position and options.
You can start by downloading our free Separation Checklist, designed to help you organise your thoughts, understand the process ahead, and take calm and confident next steps.
A thoughtful beginning can make all the difference to how the next chapter unfolds.